Did you also fall into the trap of self help & self development only to discover you are constantly needing external motivation time & again? Everyday you wake up feeling shit about not putting the work in yesterday & then go on a hunt to get motivation to get started all over again?
I never thought to myself that self development & being positive would actually be counterproductive as it was not mentioned in any of the self help books that I read or motivational quotes that I came across until I realized that if I were to be always motivated & positive, if that’s what you also think success is, then why do we still seek answers outside of us? Outside of our environment? Everywhere outside of us but not within us?
When I asked myself this question, I felt like throwing all my books to trash. I felt anger within myself for constantly fooling myself & keeping myself in an illusion of what I thought will make me successful. As we are all guided through our society to “be positive, be positive…..”
But “Quotes don’t work until you do”.
The journey to become self motivated & successful often comes at a price, especially for this generation . That price is forgetting your true self & bashing yourself with so much positivity, so much surface motivation, trying so hard to be somebody else, even without you realizing it.
To add a cherry on the cake, at the end of the day you still go back to being demotivated unless you watch your 97th motivational video or make rash purchase decisions on things that you don’t need only to cover up your guilt of not being able to do enough.
And you have been repeating this pattern of fake it till you make it since the inception of social networks, or maybe before that. But wherever you are in life right now, there is no better time than now to make this mindset shift happen.
Table of Contents
1. Change Yourself Fundamentally
If you feel like you are doing hard work, that is because you are trying too hard to do things that your mind & body aren’t prepared to do.
Let me tell you a secret. You can’t change your life by being the same person. Your life is a reflection of you.
At the very core in your personal growth journey, things won’t change unless you start to make changes in how you are as a person. That is defined by the actions you take during the course of a day. If you keep delaying tasks day in & day out, if you constantly practice being fearful instead of believing in yourself, if you only take action when it’s convenient, I’m Sorry you are already out of competition.
If these are a few traits that you see yourself in, the solution is to change yourself as a person. Change your identity. Change your behaviour. No wonder why you seek out answers, motivation, inspiration, whatever you want to call it, outside of your environment. The answer is in your environment.
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2. Become A Person Of Value
Be mindful of what you call success in your life.
When you develop yourself as a person of value, success comes to you automatically, you don’t need to find it in motivational videos and likewise places.
Don’t make the mistake of chasing success. You will never be able to catch it because it will never be enough. It’s never enough. That is why living in the future & in the past never adds anything to your life, only worry & pointless overthinking.
3. Embrace Negativity, Your Fears.
Don’t run away from it. It is only a feeling. And it can be changed. But in order to feel the value of positivity you must experience negativity, you must experience fear. Give yourself some time to process the situations that don’t favour you, that hurts you. Because they are meant to make you feel sad. That is so natural. What is not natural is not being yourself.
Once you realize that this is as bad as it can get, there is no place down below this level, the bounce back will be much more powerful. Because now you have nothing to lose!
4. Express Yourself
For the longest time, I thought that being an introvert was a special trait I had. Because I don’t socialize much, I understand things from a whole different perspective. I thought that was special. In all reality, I was judging the whole world rather than actually working on myself & changing who I was as a person.
Stop covering your flaws.
That doesn’t mean extroverts are perfect. The thing is we need to stop having 10 faces in our lives. Pretending to be positive, happy & successful is so much mental burden man. Just be yourself. It feels so good to be yourself. It feels so good to come to terms with your own spirit & have that sense of belonging into this world.
5. You Are Not Taking Action!!
Here we go again. The chicken & egg story.
People think they need a proper mindset to get started. The truth is you need to take action to build that conviction & faith within yourself. Consuming motivational video, quotes & self help books is great. But it’s function is only served when you take action every single day.
How many times will you tell yourself that you are not ready? Once you start taking action, you will only get better at what you do. So keep your chin up, be a student of life & start doing things that you really need to do.
6. Build Resilience
I wanted to use the word patience, but people interpret it completely differently these days.They interpret as if having patience is the ability to wait for good things to happen. By far the biggest lie in the self help world!
What you actually need is resilience. The ability to take action first and no matter what, fighting through the process, the ability to face challenges, the ability to keep your attitude sky high when you know there are 99 reasons for you failing but you are stuck on that one reason to succeed.
The universe will test your faith, your discipline right before it gives you a breakthrough.
To Your Success.